family tree

I wes expressing my anxiety to my sister over the loosening of family connections nowaday, when my mother chipped in on how her ancestors tighten back the family knot,
'Orang tua dulu dulu kalau adik bengadik dah jauh depa pedekat balik. Kalau nak menikah depa tak mau cari orang luaq, cari kaum keluarga yang dah jauh sikit, ambik buat menantu. Macam ni kaum keluarga jadi tak terputuis'
In those days it was considered normal practice when distant relatives made promises to have their son or daughter married to the son or daughter of other relatives without the knowledge of the couple involved. And this practice of promised marriage or prearranged marriage did happen in my family too, involving my elder brother.
It happened in the sixties. My late grandmother did petty business for a living and used to stop over or visited her distant relative while doing her business. In one of her visit she saw 'ada sekuntum bunga yang sedang mekar ditaman kat rumah kaum keluarganya itu.'

' Aku ada cucu jantan, anak tengona, kerja kerani. Kalau hampa setuju mai la kita pedekat adik beradik, bagi depa menikah.'

Without hesitation this relative of hers happily accepted the offer and my grandmother was given a photo of the bride-to-be to be shown to my brother.

('pedekat adik beradik' is a subtle way of saying or making promise for a marriage) .

My grandmother was very very disappointed indeed when her proposal to 'pedekat adik beradik' was totally rejected by my brother. Imagine the frustration and embarasment she had to undergo.
That distant relative was made to wait and was heard complaining to other relatives,
'Bila depa nak antaq rombongan mai meminang anak kita, la ni ramai dah dok mai minta. Anak kita ni biaq la bagi kat adik beradik daripada bagi kat orang . Lagi pun baguis pedekat adik beradik,
kalau padi kata padi,
jangan kami tertampi-tampi,
kalau jadi kata jadi,
jangan dok biaq kami ternanti-nanti.'

Kesian juga!

When asked later on how she was able to solved the issue without hurting the feeling of her relative, my grandmother had only this to say,
'Tu la gatai mulut pi dok janji dengan orang. La ni biaq abang hang cari bini dia sendiri'

Now you don't have to worry about getting closer to your relatives, you can now surf www.geni.com and built up your own family tree. Your children may use it to find out who their ancesters are as well as their distant relatives. Complete your family tree by visiting your relatives and secure all information from them.




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